“Listen before you talk and understand before you JUDGE.”
We judge others for many reasons and one is to give us an instant hit of gratification. The gratification that we are better than the other person. When we ask ourselves why we need to judge we will receive the answer and often it is because we see a behaviour in someone else, that we don’t like in ourselves. By being mindful of others, thinking of others, and educating ourselves we will learn to accept others the way they are and for the opinions they have, their dreams, and desires. We all have had and will experience things differently and by not judging others and educating ourselves we will live a happier and more fulfilled life.
So why do we judge others?
The reason why we judge others is because our brains are trying to make sense of why people do the things they do!! In our eyes we would do these things completely different.
So when we judge others we get an instance but quick hit of satisfaction, it’s a bit of an ego trip making ourselves feel better. We do this because we are lacking self-acceptance and self-love.
We also judge others because they are doing something that we do but we don’t like within ourselves.
Whenever you slip up and start becoming judgmental of others, take a step back, and remind yourself of this truth: We usually judge others in the areas where we feel the weakest.
So how do we stop ourselves from judging??
To be honest with you, judging others has good and bad sides. When you make choices based on observing and evaluating other people you are using an important skill. When you judge people from a negative perspective, you are doing it to make yourself feel better and as a result, the judgement is likely to be harmful to both of you.
Start accepting people’s opinions, ideas and actions and recognise that it is from their experiences only.
Our experiences are never the same so what we believe and value are not necessarily what others believe to be true and/or value in their life.
It takes 7 seconds to judge someone!
If we could all learn to love ourselves, we would make our world a much more compassionate and much less judgmental place.
So if you’re ready to stop judging and ready to learn to start becoming more accepting, consider these 6 reasons to stop judging others!
1. Look at yourself and your own behaviour
To truly know yourself is the most important skill you can ever possess. You cannot and will not be able to know yourself until you take time to be still. Be quiet, evaluate yourself and discover your true self first before you judge others.
When you judge others, you do not define them. It is you who define yourself. So look at yourself and behaviour first. Ask yourself, if your behaviour towards them is good or bad because their behaviour is actually dependent on how you had treated them before.
Yes, you may get a tiny adrenaline rush from making judgments and you will ultimately end up feeling guilty. And the worst, you just put yourself down whenever you put others down.
2. Ask Yourself Why?
Feeling judged by others is one of the most hurtful things we can feel like a human being. Sometimes, without thought or notice, we judge people as a reflection of what we feel or think about ourselves.
So ask yourself why do you judge others? Why do you feel bad when you see his/her flaws? If you think about it, every time you criticize someone or gossip about them, it’s usually in the areas where you feel the weakest or that you most dislike about yourself. If you’re able to see their “flaws”, it’s most probably because you can recognize them in yourself.
When we stop being judgmental, we start appreciating people and things for what they are. So next time you catch yourself criticizing someone, don’t beat yourself up.
3. Feel Good About Yourself
Remember that the world is not out to get you and it does not punish you. You do that to yourself. If you want to feel good about yourself, it starts with identifying the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that might block you from feeling good about yourself.
Try to avoid comparing yourself to others and embrace your individuality. Comparing yourself to others will not make you feel good about yourself because you are different than any other person. There’s no one out there just like you, who has grown up with your experiences and who has your talents.
Try looking at yourself as a great. Pride yourself on your greatest achievements instead of highlighting and judging others’ flaws.
4. Be Mindful/Thoughtful
Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to assess yourself before you speak. You can’t get your words back. Pause. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one.
When someone wrongs us, it is easy for us to conjure up a list of reasons why we are right and they are wrong. Mindfulness teaches us that thoughts are just thoughts. One of the mindfulness practices is to learn to be open to whatever thoughts that may come up in our mind and to let go.
Remember who you are and your core values. You are motivated to act in ways that are more consistent with values. Be mindful, don’t beat yourself up with self-deprecating thoughts or self-judgements.
5. Stops of the flow of Abundance and Growth
Every time you choose to judge someone or something you focus all your attention elsewhere instead of attracting abundance into your life and your own personal growth.
Focusing your thoughts on your own needs, wants and desires then brings happiness, wealth and well-being to your life instead of bitterness and resentment.
6. Educate Yourself
Learning to see judging other people as a bad thing is among the best changes you can make to feel happier. This is because we all judge others despite our best efforts.
If you are upbeat about your work, you will be upbeat about your life. Understand those around you. This is about getting enough knowledge to help yourself and others around you in any situation of life.
Whether you like it or not, we are placed on this planet among other people. Those around you affect everything that’s happening in your life. So if you’re going to judge others based on their flaws, you just beat yourself up.
It is often really hard to understand different situations if the only perspective you have is your own. Education will help you broaden your views and understand those around you. This will give you an insight into what other people are going through and perhaps why they make the choices they do.
So educate yourself. This can help you and others, as well as, win personal and professional battles. Go ahead and empower yourself to the best that you can be.